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Running consciously

July 14, 2010

Would this become a run to remember? I asked myself. My mind was full of thoughts of past weekends race, things I could have done different, creating better scenarios. I guess this was my way of dealing with my imperfection, making it better in hindsight.

But it was something that had already happened, so why should I dwell on it, paying with my precious presence, like this run wasn’t worth anything, less than being a vessel for making clones of the past. I already knew which mistakes I had made. How could making better scenarios change what happened?

So there I was running, this hot and humed mid-july evening, dwlling on the past, trying to return to present time, fighting with my egoic mind. The mind is an advertising wizard – always in your face with another tempting thought, another sweet tasting scenario. That’s how it is. That’s how the ego tries to manipulate you, to make you numb for the present, making you unconscious, steal your presence.
When you realize this you will relax, and smile. You can just watch every attempt your mind makes to steal your presence. Watch the thoughts. Be present. Be in the Being.
This is how the latter part of my run was. No resistance. Nothing I should.

“What about the chantarelles? I heard they are early this year” my mind tried as a last desperate attempt.
But I was floating. Running beautiful, not for anyone else, only for myself. Accepting what is, weak or strong, fast or slow, happy or sad, old or young. There is no need to fight it. There is no use. There are up-hills and down-hills.

“It went good. I abandoned.” That’s how I answer when people ask me about the race the past weekend.

As usual it was very hot and steep during Ladonia Mountain Trophy, the annual mountain orienteering race in Mölle, southwest Sweden, held July 10 – for the 10th and last time. And as usual the ambience was great with barbeque party afterwards.

This last edition had lured a record field with many previous LMT winners and familiar faces. The elite class was supposed to be even tougher this time, with a longer course (about 30 K) and approx +2600 m climbing. Already during the prologue the hazards of the course became evident when a football size rock came rolling in high speed towards us. The spectacular restart with swimming ashore from a speedboat cooled us off a bit but the heat was soon on again with the mercury passing 30°C and no wind. I took a fall and hit my knee and head in a rock, but came out lucky – this time…

2 hours had passed when we could refill our hydration systems. But three hours later my 2 litre camelback was empty. At that point I was dehydrated with headache having run out of water. That’s when we got the third and last map, a course I estimated would take another 2 hrs. For me it was out of the question to continue without water so I threw in the towel. It didn’t feel safe – running dizzy in these steep gullies. And I don’t have anything to prove. Maybe my ego do, but I don’t.

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