Waiting for the light
It was a dark morning. It was today, about 7 am. Would I go for a run in the park? It could be nice with some music. Maybe the paths are ice free by now. I could finish the run with a espresso macchiato at the Lasagneria. I could run and feel. Yes, I could have started the day like that. But inside it was warm and cosy. Outside the window small clouds rushed across the sky. Windy, dark, cold. Very discouraging. This time the bed won, but only after I decided to run later on. With the light. With joy and pleasure. With the sounds of playing children. With the sun and the beauty it brings.
Waking up and feeling an urge to run isn’t a bad feeling. It’s actually quite nice. It’s the kind of feeling you would like to have and keep. Feeling attracted to running, curious about what running have in store.
As I’m musing on this “temptation” I get flashbacks from my running life: being lost several hours in the Amazon during Jungle Marathon 2003; getting re-energized with music after having bonked the first evening in 2009’s UTMB; running in the spectacular sand dunes in Sahara during MDS 2009; running narrow mountain trails in the sunset in Zermatt, Switzerland; but the strongest images are from my last run here in Göteborg and it’s not so much the images, what I saw, but the memory how it felt: the lightness, the beauty of running relaxed with a joyful mind, accepting what is, not without curiousity but without an image of what it should be. I have stopped forcing myself to run. It’s not a punishment. It’s joy. Running happiness, anytime, anywhere. Always.